Thursday's Thoughts: Enjoying the little years

Little Johanna and Alaina (Aug 2008)

So... last night I was feeling super irritated that Johanna (7) and Alaina (5) kept getting out of bed.  They have every excuse in the book.  As soon as the lights are out and I say, "no more talking...." they suddenly have to pee, poop and get a drink like 20 times.  A leg always hurts.  Someone's nose is running or they keep coughing and need medicine. Someone licks someone else.  Then someone gets kicked. Then they beg for another drink... "my throat is hot.." (Alaina, lol). It never ends...

Then I realized... one day. 
One sad day in a few years from now, no one will come into my room for anything.  I know I will miss it so much.  I know there will be nights I will cry when I think about seeing a little someone come in my room for the upteenth time, knowing it will never happen again. :(
Then I thought about it some more.  How often do Johanna and Alaina get to experience a Mommy that is NOT cranky?  Katie and Danielle get the Mommy that has had some time to relax after a long day because they stay up later than the younger children.  Matthew and Elise get the most hugs and kisses, because well, they are babies still and do less things to try my patience. Alaina does get to have a little bit of 'daytime' Mommy who is not as cranky as 'evening' Mommy, but what about Johanna?
I need to change this. 
Each and every one needs to know how very special they are, how much they are loved more than I can even begin to express.  They need to know how much I appreciate their individual strengths... and yes, their weaknesses. *I* need to change, not them.  Yes, they need to obey at nighttime, but I need to go about it in a different way.  This IS my life and I love my life and wouldn't change it.  One day they will grow up and all I will have are memories.  Do I really want to remember these years as difficult and unenjoyable years and feel the guilt that my children had to deal with nothing but crankiness? Definitely not.
I need to enjoy these little years, right here, right now because before I know it they will be over.