Take on Tuesday: 2012 Memories

Wow... Where to begin.  It's been a good year, busy, but good.
In January we found out we were having another boy... that was sooo wonderful and a great way to start off the year and celebrate my birthday.  In July, we welcomed Joshua into the world.  He's about to turn six months already.  Joshua Mark is sooo wonderful! I love him! He is so very loved by all of us.  He is such a happy baby.  He will smile at anyone that will look his way or talk to him, which is all the time because he's so cute that people just can't resist!  He sleeps pretty well, overall.  He sleeps through the night about every other night, lol.  For some reason he just does that.  Even when he has a rough night it's still not all that bad.  He'll sleep from like 11-3am instead of his big stretch of 10pm - 5 or 6am. We haven't started him on any solids, except for the little bit of applesauce he got in the car on our long trip to CO a couple weeks ago.  He liked it. :) Here's a picture of him, he's seems to be more fair skinned than Matthew, and his hair is lighter as well. :)

Knitting.  Let's see... I've been doing a lot of it.  Especially since fall.  Even before that, though, I made a bunch of little hats for Joshua's newborn photo shoot.  I am hoping to get through my orders (which are slowing down now that Christmas is over) to make him a bunch of new ones and also do another photo shoot with him.  Not only that, but he actually needs some hats since it's cold outside.
I've learned some new things.  I am getting better at following a pattern and I learned to make bobbles and how to make a curve by knitting short rows.  This is the hat, a Viking, that forced me to step outside of my comfort zone...
I also just learned to knit booties last night... very simple ones... but I did it nonetheless!

I got a new camera! A Nikon D5100. I took pictures for Adrielle's wedding.  Yep.. my baby sister got married on 12-12-12, which was also our 14th wedding anniversary.  That was a lot of fun, to see everyone again.  Adrielle's new husband, Clay, seems nice, although I haven't gotten to know him at all yet.  Hopefully I will more in the future.



I also got to see Amariah, which is rare.. here is a picture of us five kids together :)

 

 

Okay, so let's talk about the other six kids!!! Starting with Katie. My Katheryn Rebekah Laurel.  She turned 13 this year.  THIRTEEN.  I have a teenager.  And a freshman in highschool.  I am not old enough for that!!! Well, I am, but it doesn't feel like it.  Katie has grown a lot this year in responsibility.  She has started babysitting, we've left her a number of times alone with our kids and she does an awesome job... the house is clean and the kids are in bed and well taken care of when we get home.  She also recently babysat at a friends house with Danielle.  That was her first time being away from home, alone.  She did very well!!! :)She also has gotten really good at writing poems and her piano playing has improved tremendously!  She is also taking an art class again this year and is doing really well, I am very impressed with the work she brings home. :) I've also noticed leadership qualities coming out in her, she put together and led a small vacation Bible school at the church and then the Fall festival for Halloween.  I was proud to see her standing in front of so many people, showing such boldness and confidence when she talked.

 

 

Then there's Danielle Elizabethe Marie, my 11 year old.  She has also grown a lot this year.  She has improved a ton with the amount of housework she has been doing.  She helps clean the kitchen every night, with out hardly a complaint! She has recently taken over the "job" of putting away everyone's laundry.  That is a big job, let me tell you! She's doing great at it.  Her artwork is amazing, she is just a natural at it.  She is constantly drawing cartoon characters that look just like the original with hardly any effort, it seems.  Her piano playing has also improved this year, my favorite song she learned was "Here I Come to Worship"  It made my heart melt to hear her play and sing along with it. She's got a pretty voice, maybe it will become like Grandma Laurel's one day. I've noticed an improvement in her diligence with practicing.  Danielle is so funny, she is always coming up with the wittiest things.  I really enjoy spending time with her. :)

 

 

Johanna Alexandra Lynn turned 8 this year.  She is so good with babies, Joshua can hardly make a fuss with out her running to him. :) She almost always has him in her arms, and if we are anywhere else where there is another baby, she is wanting to hold them too! :)  Johanna is good at cleaning, when she wants to be.. ;) She is our bathroom cleaner... she is very detailed in the way she cleans and she doesn't mind getting messy... haha. Her artwork is showing great potential too, it seems she has a bit of natural talent too... I am usually very surprised when she shows me something she drew.  She loves to create... we find "Johanna creations" all over the house.  These are usually a combination of yarn, tape, cardboard and hot glue.  And anything else she can find around the house. Mostly she is just funloving and full of energy! :)

Then there's Alaina Julianna Grace! She is 6 and started kindergarten this year.  She loves Ms. Lollie, her teacher.  She also really enjoys her buddy, Luke.  She says she is going to marry him one day. haha! Alaina has shown a ton of responsibility with her job this year.  Every day, Monday - Thursday, after lunch she cleans the kitchen and dining room with the exception of the dishes.  There are days she goes above and beyond and even sweeps and takes out the trash without being asked. She is doing very well at school, picking up on reading very fast.  Mostly what I notice about her is how affectionate she is.  She very regularly comes up to me and kisses my hand or my face and says, "I love you mommy".  That is so sweet and I love it!

 

 

Matthew Scott... he's so fun. :) He turned 4 this year.  He loves his

baby brother!  I can't wait to see their relationship grow and develop over the years.  He is such a protector but at the same time shows such gentleness with Joshua.  He is very happy to have his brother move in the room with him. He always wants to be just like Daddy and do whatever Daddy is doing! Like in the picture, his sleeves are rolled up, because Daddy does that.  We even had to shave his head this year to be like Daddy.  :) He loves trains and legos.  Most of the fun is building the tracks and building with legos.  He got a battery operated train engine for christmas and loves to watch it go around the tracks.  Matthew does a good job cleaning the living room, especially organizing the shoes.  He's also very responsible with making sure that his train tracks and legos get put away and does an excellent job cleaning his room when told. :)

 

 

Then there's our sweet, spunky, Elise Josephine Claire aka: Lisey.  She's 2... and full of life! She talks endlessly, has a huge vocabulary and loves Dora!  She's a bit stubborn and knows what she wants out of life! She brings so much joy to our family... we just laugh and laugh at her.  She recently started sleeping in a big girl bed and shares a room with Katie and Danielle.  She may be small but she's certain she's one of the big kids.  Her personality is much much bigger than she is, and quirky as can be!  We have been trying to get her potty trained, but she has other ideas and apparently is more stubborn than I am, at least with that.  So, we are waiting. :)

 

 

This year hasn't been all joyful, but we still have so much to be thankful for.  Last month I got some pretty bad news.  Grandma Marie had a stroke. She's okay, but losing her has been one of my worst fears so you can imagine how terrifying that was.  She is very much still with us, but a part of her is gone and it breaks my heart.  I went to visit her just days after her stroke and it was very very hard.  I miss my Grandma.  Her short term memory isn't doing well.  She doesn't recognize her house as her home and just simply isn't able to care for herself, at all.  :( She just moved in with my Mom a couple days ago and she will stay there for the rest of her life, or until she gets better, which is my prayer.  Her personality was still there in a lot of ways, she could joke with us.. and she did remember the people closest to her.  Some things were gone though, like her need to clean.  Maybe that's a good thing, but it was hard to see that part gone.  She LOVED Joshua though and still to this day talks about "THAT BABY" :) I miss her.

 

 

In other "bad news", this month the kids' guinea pig, Oliver died.  That was very hard.  Our first pet funeral... there were many tears.  They did get two new piggies though, Chewbacca (Chewby) and Simba.  We decided to let Danielle get one too.  Katie was 11 when she got Oliver so it just made sense.  So far they have been so responsible.  Both guinea pigs got sick and since they were within the two week period since we bought them they got to see the vet for free.  Both are on medication and Katie and Danielle have been doing great giving it them, every day.

 

 

Can't forget, Steven and me... well not much to say... we are just busy.  All the time busy.  Steven works 3 jobs, goes to school... takes care of us.  I am with the kids, work at the church school, and managing my little knitting business.  Busy busy busy!!! :)

 

Oh.  And Benny.  He isn't forgotten, we love him very much... he's our fat sweet boy.  Turned seven years old this month! He's been a stinker though... ran away not too long ago.  We left the door open all night and sure enough, there he was in our kitchen, limping and muddy.  Naughty boy.  Since then he's been trying to get out more and more... and actually did get out again, but we realized it soon enough and Katie found him by the side of our house.

 

That pretty much concludes our year.  I am sure I am leaving out a ton of stuff, but the important stuff is covered. :)

Goals for next year.... help our family draw nearer to God.  I feel that is the biggest disappointment over the last year.  Somehow Bible studies stopped happening, we haven't done character qualities like we should, or at all.  That needs to change....

See ya next year... in 2013!

Words on Wednesday: homeschooling...

It's been forever since I have been consistant about writing in here, and that makes me sad. 
However, there are many wonderful reasons that I have been too busy to get on here.  I can name seven of them right of the top of my head.. hehe... but besides the children, there has been teaching.
 Let me just say one thing... I love teaching.  The girls I have in my class, 2nd - 5th grade, are so awesome.  Although I feel like I am crazy busy, I wouldn't want to do anything else right now.  I feel so blessed to get to be apart of all of their little lives. 
The experience I am gaining from lesson planning (even if it's only one class) has helped build some confidence for future homeschooling. 
The way I see it is, homeschooling will be easier, and harder than what I am doing now.  At least I think so.  Can't say from experience.  The part I'd imagine that would be harder would be lesson planning for every class... and managing many grade levels... and doing it with my own kids might be a tad more difficult than someone elses.  Being "stuck in the house" will be a bit challenging, because I seem to fall in that rut when we are all home, I don't get us out like I should.  I will have to be organized and have a schedule... eek... and follow it!  That will be hard.
The good thing, is the hard part isn't impossible and I feel that through the experience I will gain character, I'll have to! We'll grow as a family.  Excited about that.
Now for the easier part.... there's a small little thing called "getting seven children out the door, fully dressed, fed, hair fixed, lunches packed, behavior sheets signed, hats-gloves-scarves (in the winter), shoes, backpacks, jackets... with out tears and earlier in the morning than I want to be rushing out the door" that I don't particularly enjoy.  Not having to do that... well, that'd be easier.  Before anyone says, you can get most of that stuff ready the night before...  I do.  It's still stressful.  Worth it, but stressful. 
Another easier thing.  Since I do have smaller children, it would be nice to schedule school around nap and quiet times, or just during parts of the day that would make more sense.  We will school year around, so if we don't get everything done in a day (although I will always try) it's ok.  And *if* I have another baby, although that is not the plan at this point... then I won't be having to do (see above) with eight children, one being a newborn every morning.. haha... we could take a break for a bit.  Also, having them in the classroom with me while I teach can be a tad overwhelming at times.  I love having them with me, but the hard part would be that we are on a rigid schedule, I can't just stop teaching to deal with a kid and resume at a better time.  I could do that at home.
My children will get a chance to learn about taking care of a home... right now with the hectic schedule there is not much time for them to do chores.  Surprisingly, Katie is actually looking forward to that part.  Although she does not like chores, she sees the significance of them and wants to make that part of life a habit.  Right now it's hard.
The best best best part... family unity.  I just feel we need this.  As a family.  With Steven working so much and I doing a lot of the taking care of the kids by myself it's caused some behavior issues to come up.  Sometimes I feel it's the influence of friends, and other things, not just Steven being gone, just a lot of things... but I feel we have a very small window of time to shape their little lives.  I can't wait to focus on that 100%.
The icing on the cake is Steven won't have to work so much!!! He can be around more. 
We'll miss the church school soooo much and I know I'll miss teaching there, but we'll be around a lot.  Who knows, we may only homeschool a couple years.  We just know it's right for us right now.

I really do see God's hand in this.  A few years ago if you asked me about homeschooling I'd look at you and say "NO WAY! I need a break from my kids, i couldn't handle it!!"  Things started transforming in me a couple years ago.  It started after I read I book called Family Driven Faith.  It totally changed how I thought and did things. We started having family Bible studies together (I need to start doing that again!!!!) and praying together as a family. 
My next thought on homeschooling was, that I felt it was one of the best options for our kids, but had no desire whatsoever. I was terrified of the possibility.  Then the kids started asking to homeschool.  We didn't feel that their reasons for wanting to homeschool were the right reasons and didn't feel it was time to pull them out yet. Steven started feeling the weight of working extra to pay for the school and asked me if I'd ever consider homeschooling.  I still didn't want to even though I thought it might be best.  I felt really guilty about that.  In fact I thought about blogging about how guilty I felt that I didn't want to homeschool... I wanted to want to so bad.  I didn't blog about it, though, because I was so ashamed that I couldn't say it.
It was May, this year.  Something switched in me.  I just said... Okay.  We're going to do it.  Steven got super excited.  He really wants to be a big part of it.  Having a high schooler, I'll need him to be a big part!  I was still scared, but thought I'd start talking to people that are doing it successfully WITH a large family.  I have many friends that are doing it and loving it at this very moment.  Friends with 5, 6, and 7 children.  If they can do it, and do it well... I can too! That's where it took off. I am now SO excited! I do have some healthy fear though.. haha... it will be a new experience and I know it won't be all sunshine and rainbows.  The first year will be the hardest.  We'll make mistakes with curriculum... some days things iwll just not work out.  Overall though, from what I've heard, it will be very rewarding.  Not only that, but a number of my homeschooling friends say they'd never want to (see above) every morning, haha! 
It was just like God gave me what I needed when the time was right to be able to make this decision.  It is well thought out, we've literally been discussing it for a few years and are not even rushing into it this year.  With having Joshua being born in the summer and Steven still having to go to school a ton this year we just didn't feel it was the right time.  Luckily the church school is an awesome place for our kids. :)

On a side note.... hat business is going great! It's like the first year, again! Last year was slow.  I hardly have time to knit, but I am plugging away, slowly. 
I started taking piano lessons with Wendy... I LOVE piano lessons.  I really look forward to Fridays. :)
Oh and one more thing... instead of Thoughts on Thursday I am going to do Thankful Thursday, I got the idea from Bri, Shelby's daughter... it's such an awesome thing to do and I am totally doing it! It'll probably only happen like once every couple months, but so worth it!
Well, I better sign off for now... hoping I can get on here more often!

Joshua's Birth Story

This has taken me forever to write... but here's the best I can do!
Anyway, So....  on July 5, we went into the hospital for the induction. 
I was dilated to 4cm when we got to the hospital. I might have been in early labor already, I was cramping and contracting all day on the 4th it just wasn't too regular. When I got to the hospital I was having some contractions but they weren't real consistant. They were just stronger than before.
The nurse asked me about my birth plan and I told her about the cord clamping thing (I wanted to not clamp the cord for 3 minutes so he could get as much of his cord blood as possible) and that I want the pitocin set real low. She set it on a 2.
It didn't really seem to affect my contractions a whole lot, they were not really more frequent but a little more regular. I probably sat that way for about 2 hours.
Next the anestesiologist (sp?) showed up for my epidural... I so wanted to try it natural, but I was SO worried about doing with pitocin AND I could tell with the little contractions i was having that it was back labor. They weren't real painful at all... just crampy, but my back was hurting pretty bad.
The epi went fine, at first, but then when I laid down my heartrate shot up to 120 and my bp dropped to 80 over something... um scary... and AWFUL. So they had to give me meds to make my bp go up... how ironic. It was awful. Steven and the kids said I lost all the color from my face, I felt nautious... and dizzy.. ick. 
 Then I felt GUILTY! Like such a wimp for needing the epi that I just put myself and poor Joshua through that! I have never had a reaction like that before.
At the same time my Dr showed up to break my water.. he said I was 5-6cm (with no pain up until that point!). After that the contractions sped up and were on top of each other. Then I was thankful for the epi. I don't know if I could have done it! I mean I know I could have, but they were constant! So they lowered my pit down to a 1 and that slowed them down. They were still pretty close together though... I think it was probably 3 hours before I was a 10... but right about that time Joshua's heartrate dropped down to a 60 which was scary. My Dr wasn't there yet, but I told the nurse that if things didn't change fast I was pushing the baby out!! Luckily she was a nurse experienced with delivering babies. Also, his heartrate went back to normal pretty fast. It just freaked me out for a second there. I felt so helpless!
Then the Dr got there and I pushed through 2 contractions and Joshua came out sunny side up! Little stinker... but it wasn't as hard as pushing Elise out so I was glad. I bet that is why my back was hurting.
The Dr put him on my chest... that was my first experience with that and it's SO wonderful! I can't believe I had 6 babies whisked away from me right after birth and didn't even know what I was missing! :( He was slimy and gooey, but I didn't care.  He screamed and screamed and screamed.  He was NOT happy! LOL

 He waited over 3 minutes and asked me if I was ready for him to clamp the cord... I felt happy with that (I don't think it was done pulsating at that point though) so I told him it was okay. Then I just held him for the longest time.  He SCREAMED! Eventually the nurses took him from me to get him somewhat cleaned up and weighed and then gave him right back! He weighed 7lbs 5oz... same as his bday 7-5! :)
It was overall such a great experience and I felt a lot more in control of it... they asked ME what i wanted before they did everything compared to the past where they just ran the show. All it took was just speaking up and telling them what I wanted.

Also Katie and Danielle were in there the whole time... this is the 3rd sibling they have seen delivered.  They did great.  Katie had a moment of not feeling very well, but after some rest and food in her tummy she felt better.  She was the photographer.  Danielle was hilarious, had all kinds of funny stuff to say.  Stinker.  :)

 My regrets of course were having to use the pitocin (probably breaking my water would have been enough) and of course the epi. Don't know what I'll do in the future if there's any more babies.... At this point I still think I'd get the epidural, but who knows, if I actually went into labor on my own mabye I coudl do it.
I really enjoyed the time in hospital, the food -- YUMMY!, the nurses... I just love them.... the time alone with baby, sleeping... It was all great. I miss it, haha!

I think that's it, in a nutshell!

Beautiful Baby!

Friday's Facts: Summer is almost over

It's been forever since I have blogged!!

Joshua, our sweet baby boy, is six weeks old already! I promise I will blog his birth story here soon!

Summer is almost over.  It's been fun and eventful.

Let's see...

We started the summer off with a trip to North Dakota to see Grandma Marie.  That was fun! Then the kids had swimming lessons and went to vacation Bible school. 

 We had a big fourth of July party and TONS of fireworks and the very next day our wonderful Joshua Mark came into this world!

My seven wonderful kids!

Then Gary and Cathy came for a visit to help out with the baby and during that time we celebrated Matthew's 4th Birthday!

At the end of the week, they left and brought Katie, Danielle and Johanna with them to CO.  They were gone two weeks.  I missed them sooo much!!!!
We went and picked them up when Joshua was only 3 1/2 weeks old and spent a few days in CO.  It was wonderful seeing my Mom, Adrielle, Ezra, Asa and Dean.  Also I got some time with my seester Amber and got to see her kids, Poppy, Zeke, Fiona and Vivian.  We also briefly saw Kayla and Cayden.  He's getting so big! 

Here are all the Grandkids on my Mom's side. :)

The girls got to go swimming, a lot, while visiting Grandma and Grandpa, and fishing with Daddy and Grandpa.  Fun times. :) Here are Katie and Danielle in the lake on their fishing trip!

After we got home, Katie, Danielle and Juliette ran a little vacation Bible school for the little kids at our church.  It was so great watching them teach! Danielle was in charge of the 2, 3 and 4 year olds with the help of Claire, Ada, and Jesse White.  She did such a great job.  She was so responsible.

Katie and Juliette taught the 5 and 7 year olds.  Katie taught them Jesus Loves Me in sign language.  What a great teacher she is!!!  I was so proud of them, to see what servant's hearts they had.  They put so much work into this and it turned out very successful!

This last week we've been just running errands and selling coupon books mostly.  We have beat our record for previous years.  I think we are at like 39 books sold now.  So, if we win again we'll be getting a $50 gift card to anywhere we choose in the book.

Today I took the kids to Runza.  There is an outside playground there that I never really noticed before.  It was perfect weather-wise and the kids were able to burn off some energy.

I feel we've grown a lot this summer.  As a family and as individuals.  I am sad it's almost over.  The school year opens a new chapter in our lives.  I will be at the school 3 mornings a week teaching the primary students.  I will have 6 girls between 2nd and 5th grade.  I am the primary teacher for Science, but I will also be helping with Bible, spelling, handwriting, and in the kindergarten classroom where Alaina will be! :)

Words on Wednesday:39wks

39 wks tomorrow that is.
Tomorrow is the BIG day.  I will be induced if Joshua does not make his appearance before then!
So, in other news... my last two OB appts were eventful! First, last Friday I went in and asked to be checked.  Dr Stearnes couldn't find my cervix... then said baby's head was to the side.  That freaked me out a bit because a tranverse baby could mean a C-section. I then asked if having a full bladder mattered... and it does! LOL! So I went pee... got a quick u/s and yep, baby is head down.  Thank goodness.  Then Dr checked me.  He said I was a "good" 3cm but I asked him to stretch me if possible.  He wouldn't sweep (or strip) my membranes.   He did stretch me to a tight 4cm though. :) I also found out at this appt that I am GBS+ so I'll need antibiotics during labor.  Most likely I really don't, but in the slight chance that I have the "bad form" of GBS they like to play it safe.  Err...

Then I went in again on Tuesday (yesterday).  I was a "good" 4cm and I asked again if he'd sweep the membranes since I'd be getting induced in less than 48 hours. He did agree to it... it hurt a little but wasnt' awful by any means. I really don't want pitocin, but Dr insists that it's best because of my hbp spikes. I asked if he'd just break my water, but he doesn't think that will be enough to jump start things.  He did agree to only give me the lowest dose of pit and not increase it until after my water is broken if I am not progressing, which I doubt will happen.  They call it a "whiff" of pitocin.  Let's hope that works.  I am TRYING to do things as natural as I can.
While he was checking me and sweeiping my membranes he realized that baby has a limb (probably a hand) right up there by his head.  He said that it COULD be dangerous and increase the risk of cord prolapse (which is an automatic C-section) because the head being there prevents the head from totally plugging the space where my cervix is opening leaving a small space for the cord to squeeze though.  So he is going to try and manipulate things to get baby to move before he breaks my water.  Otherwise I"ll be giving birth to a head AND a limb at the same time and that really makes me want an epidural! I was thinking about maybe not getting one if I go into labor on my own.  If I am induced I probably will. 
Today is the 4th of July and Steven has a HUGE party planned for the people at the church.  It's going to be a great time, but I could have the baby instead! Poor Steven.  Although it would make for great memories.  A 4th of July baby.  Time will tell!

Take on Tuesday: 37w5d "acupuncture"

Today I went to the chiropractor and got acupuncture, the kind designed to help induce labor.  Of course it's not going to do anything if my body and baby are not ready... but here's to hoping, right?! Yesterday I had my 37wk check.  I was 3cm dilated.  A tight 3 he said.  I go in again on Friday and I've asked him to check me again that day, hoping something will happen and I'll have baby Joshua by Saturday June 30. 

My blood pressure has been fluctuating quite a bit.  With a range of  like 120's over 70's and 150's over 90's.  Usually it just sits in the 130 over 80 ish range though... so a safe number.  It's crazy when it spikes though.  Not sure if it's just our blood pressure machine we have at home because it's always been super good at the Dr office.  Who knows!  I got a few more things done on my list too.  My goal is to finish all those things by Friday - just in case! :) Hoping still! Then if i don't have baby I'll have a whole new list of things to get done before July 6th.... which is the day Dr Stearnes wants to induce if I haven't had baby yet.  He's worried about my medical history, the pre-eclampsia, hypertenstion and hypothyroidism.  Wow, I am a hot mess.  lol.   I think it would be fine to wait it out assuming my bp doesn't spike by then, but he doesn't.  I think it's more for convenience really.. but I really don't want to fight it.  I feel I got what I wanted with having the cord not clamped and cut for 3 minutes (a whole other story) and honestly... thinking I'll be holding Joshua in my arms in 10 days is soooooooo wonderful right now I can't even imagine arguing.  One day I might kick myself though.  Anyway here's the new and improved list.

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still - I can!! :)
3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric ((tomorrow!!))
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers ((on going))
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done
a. Katie b. Danielle c. Johanna d. Alaina e. Matthew f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and pads
25) organize pantry
26) install carseats, including infant
27) pre-register at hospital
28) get all the kids pics in envelopes and addressed to the people they need to go to ((on going))
29) organize top of fridge
30) Vaccuum stairs
31) clean out couch and wash couch cushions
32) give kids haircuts or trims

Thursday's Thoughts: updated list

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still - I can!! :)
3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers ((on going))
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done ((on going))
a. Katie b. Danielle c. Johanna d. Alaina e. Matthew f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and pads
25) organize pantry
26) install carseats, including infant
27) pre-register at hospital
28) get all the kids pics in envelopes and addressed to the people they need to go to ((on going))
29) organize top of fridge
30) Vaccuum stairs
31) clean out couch and wash couch cushions
32) give kids haircuts or trims

Words on Wednesday: 37wks

So close, yet so far away still! :)
I had an appt yesterday and I was only 2cm (barely) dilated and 50% effaced. At 36 1/2 wks, that's about right for me I guess, but I thought FOR SURE that things would be a little further along! I have had more contractions with more discomfort than previous pregnancies at this point.  At least as far as I can remember.  I even had one contraction wake me up because it was on the verge of being a painful one.  That has NEVER happened before.
Oh well....
Other signs would be, more pressure on my tailbone, especially during contractions.  Also the need to go to the bathroom constantly, lol.... I am still hoping for a June 30 baby, but the way things look it probably won't happen.  For one, the earliest I have ever gone into labor on my own was 39wks and 2 days.  I have had two pregnancies make it to almost 41 weeks (one of those was induced so who knows how long I would have been pregnant) and 2 pregnancies that were induced at 39ish weeks (so I know I didn't have them early, obviously... and 1 pregnancy induced at 38wks and 2 days... I am sure I would have gone at least another week with her as well.... so my hopes are shattered of a natural delivery on that day.  I'd be 38wks and 2 days. 
As far as an induction, I am not hoping for something to go wrong, but the only thing that probably would, would be my blood pressure and that's been surprisingly low (normal for me when I am not pregnant) lately.  So... IDK! Time will tell! Meanwhile, I might just try and bounce on the trampoline in the evenings (after dark, lol) to help things along.  Hopefully next Tues I have better news! I'll be almost 38 wks at that point so I better be more dilated!!!
In the meantime... just keep checking things off the list!

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still - I can!! :)
3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done
      a. Katie b. Danielle c. Johanna d. Alaina e. Matthew f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and nursing pads
25) organize pantry
26) install carseats, including infant
27) preregister at hospital
28) get all the kids pics in envelopes and addressed to the people they need to go to
(when baby is born, all I have to do is add his in there and send them off!)
29) organize top of fridge
30) Vaccuum stairs
31) clean out couch and wash couch cushions
32) give kids haircuts or trims
a. Katie b. Danielle c. Johanna d. Alaina e. Matthew

Mundane Monday: Curtains

Well, another thing checked off my list.  Well, almost.  I made the valances for Matthew and Joshua's room... well one of them is done, the second is half done.  I will have no problem finishing it today though because it's SO MUCH FUN to do!!! :)
I feel like everytime I check something off, I add a couple more things though... I guess that's part of life with 6 kids... organizing just never ends!
Here's my list now.....

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still - I can!! :)
3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done
a. Katie
b. Danielle
c. Johanna
d. Alaina
e. Matthew
f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and nursing pads
25) organize pantry
26) install carseats, including infant
27) preregister at hospital
28) get all the kids pics in envelopes and addressed to the people they need to go to
(when baby is born, all I have to do is add his in there and send them off!)
29) organize top of fridge
30) Vaccuum stairs
31) clean out couch and wash couch cushions
32) give kids haircuts
     a. Katie
     b. Danielle
     c. Johanna
     d. Alaina
     e. Matthew

Simply Saturday: Pictures today!

We went to JCPenney's and got "maternity" pics done and I also got Johanna and Alaina's pics done while were there! The kids were SUPER good... we got ALL the pics done, picked out, ordered and outta there in less than an hour! :)
I also ordered baby Joshua's carseat! It's gray, like pretty much all of the other carseats (and the interior of the van) and has blue trim.  Super cute.
A few more things to check off my list! YAY! :) (a few more to add as well)

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still - I can!! :)
3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done
a. Katie
b. Danielle
c. Johanna
d. Alaina
e. Matthew
f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and nursing pads
25) organize pantry
26) install carseats, including infant
27) preregister at hospital
28) get all the kids pics in envelopes and addressed to the people they need to go to
     (when baby is born, all I have to do is add his in there and send them off!)
29) organize top of fridge
30) Vaccuum stairs

Friday's Facts: The List

Well, since my post about nesting with my to-do list we have been working at it non-stop.  Of course, there's regular things that have to be done that always get in the way of doing the "extra things".  So, I am copying and pasting my original list, plus adding some.  I will bold the ones I have already done...

1) Buy him a carseat
2) Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still3) Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4) Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5) Make "BOY" curtains
6) find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7) maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8) Clean carpets, even if with just water
9) organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement
18) get all kids newest pics done
     a. Katie
     b. Danielle
     c. Johanna
     d. Alaina
     e. Matthew
     f. Elise
19) get maternity pictures done
20) pack hospital bag
21) organize garage the best I can
22) organize my craft and clothes closet
23) clean out van
24) buy newborn diapers and nursing pads
25) organize pantry

Thankfully I have helpers... Danielle organized the fridge and pantry for me, Johanna organized the cupboards with cups and the ones with plates and bowls.  Matthew and Alaina organized the cabinet with color books and crayons.  Johanna mostly did the medicine cabinet, she needed my help with just knowing which meds to throw away and how to organize them.  All of the kids pitched in and helped clean the garage.  It was about the best we could do considering I am so very pregnant, and we had Elise to watch closely... in the rain, haha.
All I know is I am running out of steam and my "list" is getting longer! I am adding to it more than taking away from it.  Also some of these things are ongoing... like making hats... that will continue til baby is born most likely and some of those "organized" areas need to be organized again already!

Words on Wednesday: 36wks

Well... almost 36 wks.  Tomorrow. :)
I can feel my body starting to get ready... of course that can happen for a month or more with no show of baby.. but it's promising anyway.  :)
Every evening I get a lot of contractions.  They are nothing serious, just braxton hicks... but at least my body is getting ready and at least they are somewhat regular... maybe, just maybe something is changing down there....
I go for my first non-stress test on Friday.  I don't think the Dr is going to check me or anything, but I won't resist if he wants to!
I am still desperately hoping for a June 30 baby, but that puts me only at 38w 2d.  I had Alaina at that point and she was fine... she didn't need to be delivered, although we thought she did.  I guess I hope for a "medical reason" but besides what we thought was a medical reason with Alaina (she appeared to be not growing, measuring only at 32wks, although she was fine) I haven't had anything go "wrong" that early.  Thankfully.
Then there's July 5... the day I turn 39wks... My Dr will induce me.  I did that with Matthew... but then felt guilty.  Also July 7 really stick in my head because of the 7th baby on 7/7 thing.. Only, that is a Saturday.  I do have an appt on July 6, I think so maybe I could just go in that evening and have baby after midnight again.  OR I could just WAIT.  If I get to July 12, I am pretty sure I will be induced.  I wish I was one of those super women that can just wait it out... but ugh... I am just too selfish for that.  Only it doesn't feel like selfishness at this point.. just survival, haha.
So.. bottom line is... we'll see!

A Little Something on Sunday: 35 1/2 wks

Well, here I am at 35w3d... sigh.... surprisingly my face doesn't look as fat in this pic as it really does in real life.... thankfully my chin doesn't look too doubled.  I am so discouraged though.  I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my entire life, including the pregnancies that I made it to 41wks. :( I still have 4 1/2 weeks to go at the most... I could weigh A LOT more.  I have gained 4lbs in the last few days.  I think, hope actually, that it is just water retention because I have been eating a lot of sunflower seeds before bed which are super salty. I have been watching my blood pressure and so far it's been fine.   A little higher than what is normal for me, but fine, nonetheless.  I am so sick of being pregnant and I just want to meet my baby so bad that I actually feel some disappointment when my blood pressure reads normal.  It's silly though, because I don't want to have the baby right now.  We have two weeks of swim lessons to get through that are already paid for.... and obviously it's too early still to meet him! Sure, he'd be okay, but I'd prefer at least another 2 weeks.  After swim lessons are over he can come ANY TIME though!!!  I am excited for my next appt when the Dr checks me... hoping I'll be good and dilated and then I might even get on the trampoline for some bouncing, lol... everynight.  Maybe we'll even go on walks.  Anything to make me think I am doing something to speed this along.  It's not that I just feel physically bad, but emotionally as well.  I am just so ready.  It's so worth it though.  When I am holding this baby boy in my arms, none of all of the aches pains and tears will matter anymore! I already love him so much!! Pregnancies are just hard, especially at the end.  Just praying that it goes fast... that's all I want.  And no more weight gain.

Thursday's Thoughts: Quilting Update

Here is the finished quilt for baby Joshua! It's kind of wrinkled because 1) I don't think I sewed straight enough... and 2) I thought it was so cozy I actually slept with it one night, haha! Overall, though, I am happy with how it turned out.

I put fleece on the back which worked very well! It's sooo soft and I didn't need batting so it saved money, and I think time. :) Now I just need to make curtains with the same fabric.  I thought it was the cutest firetruck fabric out there!

Here's the quilt I made for Elise... the hardest part was lining up all the rectangles! Other than that it was pretty easy.  I bought the fabric already cut.. cheating, I know! :) The back is a soft blanket that belonged to Danielle.  She let me have it, I was soo happy!  My only other option was hot pink fleece and I didn't want THAT much pink on it!

Here's the flower up close.  It wasn't hard to make, I just cut the shapes and then zigzagged around the edges.  Hoping it doesn't fray.  Next one will be Matthew's.  I figured I'd do one for each kid for their birthdays, that way I have a goal (deadline) for each kid that I will hopefully stick to!

Take on Tuesday: Nesting 34 1/2 weeks

Well, I spent last week with my wonderful Grandma Marie! I brought along Danielle, Matthew and Elise.  Steven had the week off so he kept the other three kids.
We had a great relaxing time. We went to Pizza Hut, Pamida and Alco one day.  Another day we went to Wayne's Variety (the rock shop) and the kids picked out a couple little things.  We also went to "Out to Lunch", a restaurant on another day.  Marilyn Johnson, one of Grandma Marie's friends (my Grandpa Duane's second cousin, I think) stopped by and she gave me $50.  All because she thinks I am a good mom and she likes that I am raising them to love God.  :) So, that was nice.
On one of the days Danielle went to the farm and another we went to Adams to see my Dad, Amy and baby Ruger who is almost 2 yrs now!
Mostly we just relaxed and spent hours talking to Grandma....

I just have to say though... Grandma's house is SO clean and SO organized that I got home and suddenly every mess, every finger print on the wall... every baseboard smudge, every crum and ALL the clutter - everywhere was just overwhelming to me.  The day after I got home I organized my closet.  Yesterday, Danielle organized the pantry.  I still have the fridge, the medicine cabinet, the EVERYTHING!!!  Today I plan to start tackling that.  Yesterday I had a Dr appt (I am 1cm dilated!) and we went to Applebees with Steven and then Walmart, so it wasn't a good day to organize.

So, here's my list of things that need (or I want) to be done before baby is born.
1)  Buy him a carseat
2)  Clean out the bassinette and decide if I can use it still
3)  Put newborn and up to 3mos clothes in his dresser
4)  Before that I need to completely empty it out, some of Elise's things are still in there
5)  Make "BOY" curtains
6)  find a pattern and make a red bumper for the crib
7)  maybe even make a wall hanging with remaining fabric
8)  Clean carpets, even if with just water
9)  organize medicine cabinet
10) Clean out fridge
11) Make more hats and diaper covers
12) Organize Matthew's closet
12) organize Johanna and Alaina's closet
13) wipe down walls and baseboards
14) windex windows
16) organize laundry room
17) hang pictures in basement

On my long term list...
1) repaint all baseboards and doors

So... I don't know, I just feel like I must be nesting.  I normally don't care about all this stuff.  I mean sure I want my house clean and organized, but I almost NEVER get the motivation to do it.  Now if my hip would just cooperate! :) We'll see...
I'll update again soon I am sure!

Mundane Monday: so tired - 31 weeks

I just don't think it's possible to be anymore tired!!!
To update in pregnancy news, I am taking a lot more naps - they don't seem to help a lot.  I am taking a hot bath every night for the sore ligaments and muscles - not helping a ton.  I am now seeing a chiropractor for my hip that is just slightly out of place, but it's enough to cause discomfort.  Hopefully that will start to help but for now it's just causing more soreness.
Having a lot more contractions and cramping.  Nothing to be concerned about, but they are bothersome sometimes, especially if I get upset, then they are worse. 
I am gaining weight.  Only a few lbs from being my highest weight ever.... but enough weeks left that I know I'll go over... :(
Swelling, too....
yeah.  I am a delight today... full of complaints!
Baby is moving a lot, his kicks are much harder now! I really can't wait to meet him.  I just would love it if he came at the end of June.  That would put me at 38 1/2 weeks... so just hoping hoping hoping... my babies always come later than that unless I am induced....
The earliest I can have an elective induction is July 5... but once I get into July and the disappointment wears off that I didn't have a June baby I might just try to make it to my due date.  Or at least wait until the 7th and have my 7th baby on 7/7... we'll see.
I am just so ready.  It's not only physical, but emotional.  I cry so easily, my patience is thin.  I look so forward to summer, but yet scared I will be a cranky Mommy. 
We'll see though. 8 1/2 wks til my due date.....

Take On Tuesday: 28 1/2 weeks

I am almost 29 weeks pregnant!!! It's getting so close, yet so far away still.  I am anxious to meet my new little boy! It's strange to say "meet" because I've "known" him for almost 7 months now! I know that he's active in the evening and that he's already found his favorite comfy position in my tummy.... His feet are always on the right top side of my belly.  Head down, which is great.  I know that he gets hiccups every evening around the same time.  Other than that, I don't know a whole lot? Who will this little guy look like? Will he like to sleep? Will he LOVE to nurse like his big sisters and brother have? Will he like trains and legos like Matthew? I am so excited to officially meet him, o see him and touch him and smell him.  I can't wait to kiss his fuzzy little head. It's going to be great to not feel the pregnancy aches and pains, but I will miss sleeping through the night.  Each child is so different and so unique, I just love getting to know each and every one. It will be no different with this little boy. 

As far as names go, we are thinking he will be Joshua Mark.  We've always loved the name Joshua, but when I was pregnant with Matthew I changed my mind.  I knew he wasn't a Joshua... I just knew he was a Matthew.  This time around, we both have no names that just stand out to us and the kids are set on Joshua.  Plus it's a great name with a great meaning.  "God is my salvation."

In other baby news, my good friend Shelby had a baby boy yesterday!!!! So she has 5 girls and 2 boys like I will have. They are almost in the same birth order except her first boy was number 4 (and then she had 2 girls after him) and Matthew is #5... Other than that though, almost the same and our kids are even very close in age.  Most with in a couple months of one another.  I just think that's pretty cool.

So I think that's it in pregnancy news.  My weight is high (pushing 170 now) and my blood pressure is normal.  I am always measuring right on and the heart rate is always good.  At the last u/s he weighed almost 2lbs.. which is normal!!

So with that being said, I am signing off!

Thursday's Thoughts: Quilting update

Well, not much to update! We haven't made much progress since the last update.  Katie and Danielle have started sewing their squares together, but they were looking kind of "bunchy" so I wanted to wait until a quilting meeting to get some help from Jeanne or Cheri.  It just hasn't worked out to meet in the last 6 ish weeks!
My quilt on the other hand is coming along.  I got it all sewn together! It's more bunchy then I'd like, but it's doable.  I went and bought a piece of fleece for the back, but haven't sewn it on because I want to wait for guidance.  :)  Almost done though!
Here it is...

I also plan on making curtains for the boys' room with the same fabric.  That I could do with out a back on it so I have no excuses there! Need to get on it! :)

Thursday's Thoughts: An honor and privilege

Ahh... I love my kids.
I know we all love our kids and think they are the best kids in the world, though.... It's such a great privilege as a parent to see each child grow and learn, to get to know them as individuals.. help guide them through life, their strengths and weaknesses.
I wish all parents knew what an honor and blessing it is, a true privilege - not a right, that God has given us when he gave us our children.
It's easy to just think, "oh they are just a kid.... go play"  Sometimes in the mix of things you do forget they have real feelings, you assume they don't think about much on a deep level, that it's all about baby dolls and mud pies and when's the next snack? I do, anyway.
Then I have to repent, most of the time I don't really admit it to anyone, I just vow to God and myself that I will take that extra moment or two to really get to know my children.  I do admit I know some of my kids better than others, due possibly to age (how long I've had them in my life), personality conflicts (some might get the "go play" comment a little more than others), or just simply how open they are to me.  A couple of them need me to reach out to them more while others seek me to talk.
I just love them.
I love when they have ah-ha moments.  When something just clicks.  I love it.  Those moments are especially great because the growth in them is suddenly obvious, instead of slow and steady.  That's like getting a Christmas bonus. Being able to see the fruits of the hard parenting work all at once like that... you just can't put a price on it.
Danielle had one of those yesterday.
She has been asking to homeschool lately.  While I am not against homeschool, I think it's wondeful... I just don't think it's the right time for our family to take that plunge.  In the future I might end up doing it, but for now the church school has been such a blessing and it's working for us.  If she was in immediate danger, or I couldn't trust the environment she was in, it would be a no brainer... I'd take them out instantly.  I know she's safe, she's among teachers and students that love her, she's learning about Jesus and the "issues" she is having are minor.  Mostly just a few things that make her uncomfortable.  Like the fact that Juliette is moving out of the elementary room and she'll be left behind with three 2nd graders and five kindergarteners.  She feels jealous.  Well, instead of pulling her out I'd rather her build character and work through it.
We've been talking to her about being a leader and how she'll be the BIG KID of the elementary room... how it's a responsibility to help guide the younger ones, it will be hard work at times but it also has many benefits.  It really didn't sound that appealing to her.  Steven talked to her, said the same things I have been saying... but Daddy has her heart and it just clicked.
She went to school and one of the younger girls (a first grader) gave her a letter, she has gotten similar letters in the past from the same girl, telling her how much she liked her etc etc and Danielle just knew that it was important to stick around.  That to these little ones she is the one they look up to, like she looks up to a couple of the high school girls.  It made her feel special and important and that maybe there is a purpose for her to be there afterall...
It just made my day.  To see her grow like that.  Just overnight.  She stepped out of herself and what she wants and what is comfortable for her and thought about the other kids.  She looked at the big picture.
I am sure there will be struggles in the future.  Homework will be 'too hard' and she'll want to escape it, but I feel that her heart is in the right place now so it will be easier to get her back on track.
I just wanted to jot this milestone down, because if you know Danielle... it really is a milestone.
What a great girl I have. 
They are all so wonderful.  Each and every one. This is just a small example of many. I just can't thank God enough that He chose me to be their Mommy.  Wow.  It really is such an honor and privilege.

Mundane Monday: Solving problems

I am reading this book by Joyce Meyer called Living Beyond Your Feelings.  It's been good.  Most of it I "know" (but don't apply), some of it is enlightening (still not really applying), but a couple things have really stood out.  Hoping to apply those things.

This part stood out to me, from the book:
"One thing that helps me deal properly with anger is to realize that sometimes God permits people to irritate me in order to help me grow in patience and unconditional love. None of the fruit of the Spirit develops without something to make us exercise them...... The offending person's bad behavior is not right, but God often uses them as sandpaper in our lives, to polish our rough edges. He is more concerned about changing our characters than He is about changing our circumstances to make them all comfortable for us." (Joyce Meyer)

One of my biggest issues are irritants in my life.  Well, I shouldn't say the irritants are the biggest issues, how I handle them are.... Then I wonder, will these irritants continue to irritate until I change my attitude, develop patience... self control? Unfortunately... they probably will. 
The reason is, because until I can learn to "deal with it and not let it bother me" new things will constantly begin to bother me.  The problem is with me, not with those around me.
The next question I always have is, "well, then what do I do?"  Do I just continue to let people treat me wrong, or make wrong decisions that affect me and my kids, do I just become a doormat? 
If I am supposed to "give it to God", how do I do that? Sometimes I just feel like I am talking into thin air.  Just stepping back and letting God deal with it doesn't really work does it? Honestly.... I don't know from personal experience.  I don't think I've ever given God a fair chance.  What I do know, is that trying to "fix it"... or "force others to change" DOES NOT work... so why not try something new? Besides, giving issues to God has worked for other people that I know.
Still don't know how though...
The next part that stood out to me in the book was when Joyce says, "How can you know when you express anger and when to just let it go?"
Well, she goes through a process.
First she gives it to God.  That's the part I usually mess up.  Still not sure how to do that exactly... I think it means to pray about it and then just wait on God to change the heart of the person that mistreated you.  Just let it go. Keep quiet for the moment.
Second if it's still bothering her after a couple days (a couple days!?...eek, not sure if I can keep my mouth shut that long!), then she talks to someone about it... hoping that just getting it out in the open will help.
Third, if that doesn't help she seeks God on whether or not she should confront the person.  I've never gotten this far so I don't know how one knows if God gives the permission to bring it up to the person.  I would assume that if I was still bothered by this situation after step one and two that it would probably be necessary to confront them in order to not build resentment on my part.
Last you confront them.  Important: I always want to make sure that I am doing it for their good and not my own need to "tell them off" or try and change them.  Yikes. So, bottom line, I've learned a lot, just from that.  I might try it.
If it's someone outside my family that has "hurt" me, steps one, two, and three are easy because I don't want to confront them... if it's Steven then I don't even make it to step one normally.  I am going to try that today.  Yes, today.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday's Thoughts: Enjoying the little years

Little Johanna and Alaina (Aug 2008)

So... last night I was feeling super irritated that Johanna (7) and Alaina (5) kept getting out of bed.  They have every excuse in the book.  As soon as the lights are out and I say, "no more talking...." they suddenly have to pee, poop and get a drink like 20 times.  A leg always hurts.  Someone's nose is running or they keep coughing and need medicine. Someone licks someone else.  Then someone gets kicked. Then they beg for another drink... "my throat is hot.." (Alaina, lol). It never ends...

Then I realized... one day. 
One sad day in a few years from now, no one will come into my room for anything.  I know I will miss it so much.  I know there will be nights I will cry when I think about seeing a little someone come in my room for the upteenth time, knowing it will never happen again. :(
Then I thought about it some more.  How often do Johanna and Alaina get to experience a Mommy that is NOT cranky?  Katie and Danielle get the Mommy that has had some time to relax after a long day because they stay up later than the younger children.  Matthew and Elise get the most hugs and kisses, because well, they are babies still and do less things to try my patience. Alaina does get to have a little bit of 'daytime' Mommy who is not as cranky as 'evening' Mommy, but what about Johanna?
I need to change this. 
Each and every one needs to know how very special they are, how much they are loved more than I can even begin to express.  They need to know how much I appreciate their individual strengths... and yes, their weaknesses. *I* need to change, not them.  Yes, they need to obey at nighttime, but I need to go about it in a different way.  This IS my life and I love my life and wouldn't change it.  One day they will grow up and all I will have are memories.  Do I really want to remember these years as difficult and unenjoyable years and feel the guilt that my children had to deal with nothing but crankiness? Definitely not.
I need to enjoy these little years, right here, right now because before I know it they will be over.

Words on Wednesday: A heart for worship

Johanna loves God with all her heart.  She may be a little rough around the edges... she's a little stubborn and has her own ideas on how things should be done, and she will fight for it!  She might not listen the first time or do her chores with out complaining, but when it comes down to it... her heart is turning to God and that is the very most important first step.
She loves to worship. In church, she will go up to the front and just sing her heart out.  She doesn't care what anyone thinks, she wouldn't know if anyone was watching her, because she is very focused on worship.  It's like she steps out of this world and into God's presence.  It's beautiful.
The other day she came to me and told me that she was playing outside by herself and felt a little scared.  She started singing worship songs at the top of her lungs.  She said other people were out there, but she didn't care.... After awhile she wasn't afraid anymore and her heart felt good.  She said she got on her scooter and just went as fast as she could.  The wind blowing on her face was like God right there next to her.  I believe she has the right idea!
 I love that she loves God and I love that she doesnt' care what anyone else thinks! I know that strong will is an asset for her... once her heart is turned to God, nothing will stand in the way.  I love my sweet and passionate seven year old.