Mundane Monday: so tired - 31 weeks

I just don't think it's possible to be anymore tired!!!
To update in pregnancy news, I am taking a lot more naps - they don't seem to help a lot.  I am taking a hot bath every night for the sore ligaments and muscles - not helping a ton.  I am now seeing a chiropractor for my hip that is just slightly out of place, but it's enough to cause discomfort.  Hopefully that will start to help but for now it's just causing more soreness.
Having a lot more contractions and cramping.  Nothing to be concerned about, but they are bothersome sometimes, especially if I get upset, then they are worse. 
I am gaining weight.  Only a few lbs from being my highest weight ever.... but enough weeks left that I know I'll go over... :(
Swelling, too....
yeah.  I am a delight today... full of complaints!
Baby is moving a lot, his kicks are much harder now! I really can't wait to meet him.  I just would love it if he came at the end of June.  That would put me at 38 1/2 weeks... so just hoping hoping hoping... my babies always come later than that unless I am induced....
The earliest I can have an elective induction is July 5... but once I get into July and the disappointment wears off that I didn't have a June baby I might just try to make it to my due date.  Or at least wait until the 7th and have my 7th baby on 7/7... we'll see.
I am just so ready.  It's not only physical, but emotional.  I cry so easily, my patience is thin.  I look so forward to summer, but yet scared I will be a cranky Mommy. 
We'll see though. 8 1/2 wks til my due date.....

Take On Tuesday: 28 1/2 weeks

I am almost 29 weeks pregnant!!! It's getting so close, yet so far away still.  I am anxious to meet my new little boy! It's strange to say "meet" because I've "known" him for almost 7 months now! I know that he's active in the evening and that he's already found his favorite comfy position in my tummy.... His feet are always on the right top side of my belly.  Head down, which is great.  I know that he gets hiccups every evening around the same time.  Other than that, I don't know a whole lot? Who will this little guy look like? Will he like to sleep? Will he LOVE to nurse like his big sisters and brother have? Will he like trains and legos like Matthew? I am so excited to officially meet him, o see him and touch him and smell him.  I can't wait to kiss his fuzzy little head. It's going to be great to not feel the pregnancy aches and pains, but I will miss sleeping through the night.  Each child is so different and so unique, I just love getting to know each and every one. It will be no different with this little boy. 

As far as names go, we are thinking he will be Joshua Mark.  We've always loved the name Joshua, but when I was pregnant with Matthew I changed my mind.  I knew he wasn't a Joshua... I just knew he was a Matthew.  This time around, we both have no names that just stand out to us and the kids are set on Joshua.  Plus it's a great name with a great meaning.  "God is my salvation."

In other baby news, my good friend Shelby had a baby boy yesterday!!!! So she has 5 girls and 2 boys like I will have. They are almost in the same birth order except her first boy was number 4 (and then she had 2 girls after him) and Matthew is #5... Other than that though, almost the same and our kids are even very close in age.  Most with in a couple months of one another.  I just think that's pretty cool.

So I think that's it in pregnancy news.  My weight is high (pushing 170 now) and my blood pressure is normal.  I am always measuring right on and the heart rate is always good.  At the last u/s he weighed almost 2lbs.. which is normal!!

So with that being said, I am signing off!

Thursday's Thoughts: Quilting update

Well, not much to update! We haven't made much progress since the last update.  Katie and Danielle have started sewing their squares together, but they were looking kind of "bunchy" so I wanted to wait until a quilting meeting to get some help from Jeanne or Cheri.  It just hasn't worked out to meet in the last 6 ish weeks!
My quilt on the other hand is coming along.  I got it all sewn together! It's more bunchy then I'd like, but it's doable.  I went and bought a piece of fleece for the back, but haven't sewn it on because I want to wait for guidance.  :)  Almost done though!
Here it is...

I also plan on making curtains for the boys' room with the same fabric.  That I could do with out a back on it so I have no excuses there! Need to get on it! :)

Thursday's Thoughts: An honor and privilege

Ahh... I love my kids.
I know we all love our kids and think they are the best kids in the world, though.... It's such a great privilege as a parent to see each child grow and learn, to get to know them as individuals.. help guide them through life, their strengths and weaknesses.
I wish all parents knew what an honor and blessing it is, a true privilege - not a right, that God has given us when he gave us our children.
It's easy to just think, "oh they are just a kid.... go play"  Sometimes in the mix of things you do forget they have real feelings, you assume they don't think about much on a deep level, that it's all about baby dolls and mud pies and when's the next snack? I do, anyway.
Then I have to repent, most of the time I don't really admit it to anyone, I just vow to God and myself that I will take that extra moment or two to really get to know my children.  I do admit I know some of my kids better than others, due possibly to age (how long I've had them in my life), personality conflicts (some might get the "go play" comment a little more than others), or just simply how open they are to me.  A couple of them need me to reach out to them more while others seek me to talk.
I just love them.
I love when they have ah-ha moments.  When something just clicks.  I love it.  Those moments are especially great because the growth in them is suddenly obvious, instead of slow and steady.  That's like getting a Christmas bonus. Being able to see the fruits of the hard parenting work all at once like that... you just can't put a price on it.
Danielle had one of those yesterday.
She has been asking to homeschool lately.  While I am not against homeschool, I think it's wondeful... I just don't think it's the right time for our family to take that plunge.  In the future I might end up doing it, but for now the church school has been such a blessing and it's working for us.  If she was in immediate danger, or I couldn't trust the environment she was in, it would be a no brainer... I'd take them out instantly.  I know she's safe, she's among teachers and students that love her, she's learning about Jesus and the "issues" she is having are minor.  Mostly just a few things that make her uncomfortable.  Like the fact that Juliette is moving out of the elementary room and she'll be left behind with three 2nd graders and five kindergarteners.  She feels jealous.  Well, instead of pulling her out I'd rather her build character and work through it.
We've been talking to her about being a leader and how she'll be the BIG KID of the elementary room... how it's a responsibility to help guide the younger ones, it will be hard work at times but it also has many benefits.  It really didn't sound that appealing to her.  Steven talked to her, said the same things I have been saying... but Daddy has her heart and it just clicked.
She went to school and one of the younger girls (a first grader) gave her a letter, she has gotten similar letters in the past from the same girl, telling her how much she liked her etc etc and Danielle just knew that it was important to stick around.  That to these little ones she is the one they look up to, like she looks up to a couple of the high school girls.  It made her feel special and important and that maybe there is a purpose for her to be there afterall...
It just made my day.  To see her grow like that.  Just overnight.  She stepped out of herself and what she wants and what is comfortable for her and thought about the other kids.  She looked at the big picture.
I am sure there will be struggles in the future.  Homework will be 'too hard' and she'll want to escape it, but I feel that her heart is in the right place now so it will be easier to get her back on track.
I just wanted to jot this milestone down, because if you know Danielle... it really is a milestone.
What a great girl I have. 
They are all so wonderful.  Each and every one. This is just a small example of many. I just can't thank God enough that He chose me to be their Mommy.  Wow.  It really is such an honor and privilege.

Mundane Monday: Solving problems

I am reading this book by Joyce Meyer called Living Beyond Your Feelings.  It's been good.  Most of it I "know" (but don't apply), some of it is enlightening (still not really applying), but a couple things have really stood out.  Hoping to apply those things.

This part stood out to me, from the book:
"One thing that helps me deal properly with anger is to realize that sometimes God permits people to irritate me in order to help me grow in patience and unconditional love. None of the fruit of the Spirit develops without something to make us exercise them...... The offending person's bad behavior is not right, but God often uses them as sandpaper in our lives, to polish our rough edges. He is more concerned about changing our characters than He is about changing our circumstances to make them all comfortable for us." (Joyce Meyer)

One of my biggest issues are irritants in my life.  Well, I shouldn't say the irritants are the biggest issues, how I handle them are.... Then I wonder, will these irritants continue to irritate until I change my attitude, develop patience... self control? Unfortunately... they probably will. 
The reason is, because until I can learn to "deal with it and not let it bother me" new things will constantly begin to bother me.  The problem is with me, not with those around me.
The next question I always have is, "well, then what do I do?"  Do I just continue to let people treat me wrong, or make wrong decisions that affect me and my kids, do I just become a doormat? 
If I am supposed to "give it to God", how do I do that? Sometimes I just feel like I am talking into thin air.  Just stepping back and letting God deal with it doesn't really work does it? Honestly.... I don't know from personal experience.  I don't think I've ever given God a fair chance.  What I do know, is that trying to "fix it"... or "force others to change" DOES NOT work... so why not try something new? Besides, giving issues to God has worked for other people that I know.
Still don't know how though...
The next part that stood out to me in the book was when Joyce says, "How can you know when you express anger and when to just let it go?"
Well, she goes through a process.
First she gives it to God.  That's the part I usually mess up.  Still not sure how to do that exactly... I think it means to pray about it and then just wait on God to change the heart of the person that mistreated you.  Just let it go. Keep quiet for the moment.
Second if it's still bothering her after a couple days (a couple days!?...eek, not sure if I can keep my mouth shut that long!), then she talks to someone about it... hoping that just getting it out in the open will help.
Third, if that doesn't help she seeks God on whether or not she should confront the person.  I've never gotten this far so I don't know how one knows if God gives the permission to bring it up to the person.  I would assume that if I was still bothered by this situation after step one and two that it would probably be necessary to confront them in order to not build resentment on my part.
Last you confront them.  Important: I always want to make sure that I am doing it for their good and not my own need to "tell them off" or try and change them.  Yikes. So, bottom line, I've learned a lot, just from that.  I might try it.
If it's someone outside my family that has "hurt" me, steps one, two, and three are easy because I don't want to confront them... if it's Steven then I don't even make it to step one normally.  I am going to try that today.  Yes, today.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday's Thoughts: Enjoying the little years

Little Johanna and Alaina (Aug 2008)

So... last night I was feeling super irritated that Johanna (7) and Alaina (5) kept getting out of bed.  They have every excuse in the book.  As soon as the lights are out and I say, "no more talking...." they suddenly have to pee, poop and get a drink like 20 times.  A leg always hurts.  Someone's nose is running or they keep coughing and need medicine. Someone licks someone else.  Then someone gets kicked. Then they beg for another drink... "my throat is hot.." (Alaina, lol). It never ends...

Then I realized... one day. 
One sad day in a few years from now, no one will come into my room for anything.  I know I will miss it so much.  I know there will be nights I will cry when I think about seeing a little someone come in my room for the upteenth time, knowing it will never happen again. :(
Then I thought about it some more.  How often do Johanna and Alaina get to experience a Mommy that is NOT cranky?  Katie and Danielle get the Mommy that has had some time to relax after a long day because they stay up later than the younger children.  Matthew and Elise get the most hugs and kisses, because well, they are babies still and do less things to try my patience. Alaina does get to have a little bit of 'daytime' Mommy who is not as cranky as 'evening' Mommy, but what about Johanna?
I need to change this. 
Each and every one needs to know how very special they are, how much they are loved more than I can even begin to express.  They need to know how much I appreciate their individual strengths... and yes, their weaknesses. *I* need to change, not them.  Yes, they need to obey at nighttime, but I need to go about it in a different way.  This IS my life and I love my life and wouldn't change it.  One day they will grow up and all I will have are memories.  Do I really want to remember these years as difficult and unenjoyable years and feel the guilt that my children had to deal with nothing but crankiness? Definitely not.
I need to enjoy these little years, right here, right now because before I know it they will be over.

Words on Wednesday: A heart for worship

Johanna loves God with all her heart.  She may be a little rough around the edges... she's a little stubborn and has her own ideas on how things should be done, and she will fight for it!  She might not listen the first time or do her chores with out complaining, but when it comes down to it... her heart is turning to God and that is the very most important first step.
She loves to worship. In church, she will go up to the front and just sing her heart out.  She doesn't care what anyone thinks, she wouldn't know if anyone was watching her, because she is very focused on worship.  It's like she steps out of this world and into God's presence.  It's beautiful.
The other day she came to me and told me that she was playing outside by herself and felt a little scared.  She started singing worship songs at the top of her lungs.  She said other people were out there, but she didn't care.... After awhile she wasn't afraid anymore and her heart felt good.  She said she got on her scooter and just went as fast as she could.  The wind blowing on her face was like God right there next to her.  I believe she has the right idea!
 I love that she loves God and I love that she doesnt' care what anyone else thinks! I know that strong will is an asset for her... once her heart is turned to God, nothing will stand in the way.  I love my sweet and passionate seven year old.