Friday's Facts: Eczema and Benny

I made an appt for Matthew to see an allergist next Wed.  His eczema is just out of control.  Well, we can keep it under control with steroids.. but that is not good for him. 
It's such a hard situation, as a Mommy, to see your baby go through this.  It's been close to 4 months and it's not getting better. 
To make it even worse, the possible cause of all his suffering, is Benny. :( :( :( I love that dumb cat so much. I don't know why, but it's agony thinking about getting rid of him.. but it's also agony to see Matthew miserable. 
Itchy all day long.. little scabs everywhere, flat patches of eczema -everywhere. :(
I am terrified about the appt with the allergist... is Matthew going to be in pain? Is he going to cry when they do the scratch test? I have put off this appt for way too long because I don't want him to be in pain.. but I can't put it off anymore.  I am also scared we'll find out it is Benny, afterall.. ugh, my heart... The girls will be devastated, I'll be devastated... and the dermatologist made it sound like getting rid of the cat won't help all that much anyway.  He said it might cut down his flare ups by a couple a year.  I just wish we knew for sure.  I don't want to get rid of Benny just to have Matthew not get better anyway. 
We have been praying for him to get better... I feel so alone in this. I wish I knew why God wasn't answering our prayers. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned in this, IDK.. but why Matthew?  I just pray that God will give wisdom to the allergist and we'll figure this out once and for all.  I wish I could find peace in this.. to know God is soveriegn and that He knows best.  Matthew will be healed in God's timing, in His perfect will and I will give him the glory.. I just feel I can't do it anymore. 
There is so much guilt there.  Whenever I look at Matthew, or go to lotion him up again, or change him into his jammies.. and I see the rash, my heart just throbs.  I actually feel pain. Am I doing this to him? Is my selfishness in wanting to keep Benny... an animal that is nowhere near as important as Matthew... is that what is causing this? Pain. Guilt. Tears.  Lots and lots of tears.  For Matthew and, yes, for Benny.  Will we have to put him to sleep? I can't send him off to a family that doesn't love him as much as we do.. a family that doesn't understand that Benny is scared until he warms up to you, but seriously the best cat in the world.. the softest, sweetest most wonderful fur ball ever.  What if he's scared? He won't understand why we abandoned him.. he'll be terrified.
People look at me like I am horrible because I haven't gotten rid of him yet.  What they don't understand is that I need to know for sure that it is the cat and if it is, that we can't control it somehow and still keep him... we have to know that.  Have to.  The appt on Wed might actually clear that up.  I just hope the Dr doesn't look at me and say, "oh he's allergic to cats. Get rid of the cat.  Make the hard decision." What I hear when people tell me that is "you idiot. You horrible selfish mom. Who is more important here.. the cat or Matthew? How can you even think about keeping that cat. That animal.  When Matthew is suffering? What's the matter with you?"
Bottom line.. will I get rid of Benny? Yes.  If we have to.  It will hurt really really bad, but Matthew is way WAY more important. Will I do everything I can to keep that from happening... of course.
Last night was hard.. I cried a lot. I just feel like we are running out of options.  I am so so sick of it.
We are giving him fish oil.. I've tried the coconut oil.. I've tried all the over the counter eczema creams, I've tried a homemade ointment that worked wonders for another lady's son... he's been on antihistamines (all of them) and steroids.  I just want it to end... God PLEASE help my little boy... he's just a baby, he doesn't deserve this....
Poor Matthew... we've had record high temps this summer and he's stuck wearing pants, long sleeves and thick socks almost all the time. He's always caked in aquafor and his clothes are always greasy.
Breaks my heart when he looks at me and says in his little voice... "I just want to feel better, Mommy." I hear him pray every night, "God please help my rash go away". He asked me if he could go to "God's House" so He could make him better. Do you know what that does to me? I would do anything to make him better.. I really will do anything.... just please don't let it be Benny. :(

Thursday's Thoughts: Harry Potter

Steven and I went on a date this morning!! Morning, because he's working swings right now, 7 days a week.  He's patrolling levees for the National Guard because of all the flooding going on.
Anyway, we went to the 9:15am show, Harry Potter!! It's the last one in the series and I am glad I didn't get into this Harry Potter stuff until now, it's nice not having to wait between movies.  We saw the first couple movies years ago and we just weren't too impressed.  Also the witchcraft just turned me off to it in general.  A couple weeks ago Steven recorded all the movies and we watched them all.  I still didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to them, although I did think they were good.  The last 3 were excellent though!!
Then he bought the first book.  I don't usually read because I LOVE to read... and then I read too much, haha.  Especially when it's a series of books.  I did good though, I used my time wisely! The first one is pretty good... they are great stories.  I just don't like the whole witch/wizard thing.  We don't plan to let the kids read or watch these until they are quite a bit older.  Just don't want that stuff in their heads is all.
I am excited to read the rest of the books and then we will watch the movies again. :)  It was a good date.

The Museum

Last Sunday we went to the museum in Lincoln.  It had been forever since we did anything as a family like this. :) It was a lot of fun.  When we first got there we went to a show in the planetarium.  I wasn't all that impressed... it would have been cool to just sit there and watch the stars, but the quality wasn't that good and they basically just showed a slide show on the ceiling of the room. :)

My favorite part of the museum were all the fossils they had on display! The first one we saw was this HUGE wooly mammoth... that was my most absolute favorite part!

 Look at my cuties!! I am glad they seemed to have a good time!

This was probably the next biggest fossil they had.  It's an allosaurus I am pretty sure. I'd love to go to a dinosaur museum where they had the bigger dinosaurs on display. Like brontosaurus and T-Rex.  At a museum in Canon City we saw the femur of a brontosaurus and it was like floor to ceiling tall.  I just can't even imagine how big it must have been....

 We went in a room that was just pictures of frogs... all kinds of ugly frogs, haha.  The kids got a kick out of this big fat one. :)

 This is a model of a very large tree trunk. I'd love to see a tree this big in real life. :) Either way, it was a great place to get a picture of the kids.

 There was a place in there for the kids to "dig for fossils" They had fun playing in there for awhile.

 This crocodile was really creepy looking, it's teeth were really sharp.  Another great place to get a picture of the kids...

 I love this picture of my two baby girls!! Alaina and Elise.... :) Lisey's expression cracks me up.. she's cheesing for the camera.  haha!!

 Outside the museum was this huge elephant statue.  They really wanted to climb up on it but Steven wouldn't let them. I guess he was too worried/embarrassed.  Katie was pretty disappointed about that.

Overall it was so much fun! It was great to get out of the house and go and do something we could all enjoy. :)

Swim Lessons

This year I decided to put all four girls into swim lessons. It's a life skill I want them to all have! Last year I felt Alaina was still not quite ready, being she was not yet 4 years old. She wanted to go in the "big pool" so bad! I assured her, that next year, when she's 4 she can!         

Alaina 4 1/2 Johanna 6 3/4 Danielle 9 1/2 Katie 12



Here's Danielle and Alaina excitedly talking about getting in the pool! Alaina can't wait! She's a big four (almost five) year old! The time has finally come for swimming lessons!

Danielle and Alaina, excited

The big moment is finally here!! Time to get in the pool!!!
Uh-oh.. what's wrong? Alaina suddenly doesn't want to get in the pool.  Although the water is shallow enough for her to stand in she's afraid.  When she starts trying to get in she plugs her nose although her swim teacher tells her he won't let her face go under water. She doesn't believe him.

Alaina getting ready to get in

They finally get Alaina in the pool and she clings to the swim teacher's neck.  He can't even pry her off of him and all she wants to do is get out of the pool.  We gave it our best shot that day and the next, but she didn't show much improvement on day 2 so we decided to take her out of swim lessons.  I guess she's still not quite ready.  Now she says, "when I am 5 I will go in the big water." Haha!!

Alaina and swim teacher with Johanna looking on

 Johanna was very brave this year! Not only did she jump off the diving board but she jumped on to the lifeguards floatie with out being caught!  Last year she stood on the end of the diving board for about 45 mins refusing to jump and refusing to get off... why they didn't just drop her in is beyond me.  That was a long wait, so I was relieved when that didn't happen this year.

Go Johanna!!

Johanna in mid air, about to land on the floatie!

Splash!

Katie is a good swimmer, this year she passed level 4.  She can jump in with out help.  This year she learned to jump in while holding her breath instead of plugging her nose.  She's also working on learning to dive.

Go Katie!!!

Splash!!

swimming back.. look at that smile on her face

Danielle's turn! She's not scared! Danielle was in level 2 this year and almost passed.  She had one thing to do in order to pass and that was the back float. She actually can do it, but I think they want her to be able to do it for 10 seconds.  I am sure she'll pass with no problems next session.

Go Danielle!!

safe in the lifeguards arms

Elise got to go swimming for the first time in the baby pool while the big girls had lessons.  I love this little swimsuit, look at the ruffles!! haha!

Lisey Loo

She LOVES Dora, so we got her a Dora floatie.  Here she is, pointing at Dora and saying, "Dah dah" Silly girl.

Elise and Dora

Alaina had a great time pushing Elise around the pool

This was so cute! Elise was so relaxed she almost fell asleep! She isn't even a thumb sucker, but yet she lay like this for about 15 minutes, just floating around.  She really loves the water.  

awww

Matthew isn't a huge fan of the water, but he likes the water toys.  He spent most of the morning on the side of the pool.

cool spiderman shorts

Poor Matthew got bit on the back by a horse fly.  He was on the other side of the pool and suddenly he was saying, "ow ow, my back!" I went over there and it was even bleeding a little.  He got over it fast, but in this picture he's reaching back trying to touch the spot he got bitten because it still hurt a little.

Matthew loves boats

 Alaina had an okay time in the water, it's not her favorite thing to do yet at this point, but if she's anything like Katie, Danielle and Johanna, it will be in no time. :)

sweet Lainers

Now she's showing off her cool tricks she learned... look she's putting her face in the water!! After swim lessons everyday she'd find her teacher and tell him she put her face in the baby pool.  Silly girl. :)

plugging her nose and putting her face in.  that's as far as she went in. :)

Showing me how she learned to "kick" in her 2 days of lessons. :)

The kids all had a great time! We plan to go again this summer just to reinforce what they have already learned and hopefully learn more! I think confidance in the water, and of course knowing how to swim are very important. I recently read about a little 3 year old boy that fell into a well and was able to keep himself floating in 10ft of water while he waited for his dad to get down there to help him.  In the article they said he had swimming lessons that summer and that they knew it would have been a different outcome if he hadn't! He was able to tread water for about 10 minutes I think it said, so that just confirms how important it is.

Words on Wednesday: Yarn

Oh dear.... the yarn bug has bitten!
It's been a few months.. I haven't even thought about yarn! I've had no orders for hats in months, the weather is too hot, so besides a couple I made for my adorable nephew, Ezra (see picture) I haven't even touched the stuff!!
Well... one of my best friends, Kelli, is having a baby boy in Sept and my soon to be sister in law Kayla is also having a baby boy in Sept. Then there's my sister Amber's baby girl in Nov and another one of my best friends, Amber B.'s baby boy in Nov!!
So... I kind of grudgingly accepted the fact that I have to make hats.. already.  Haha!!
So, off to Michaels I went.  The first time I went today was while the oldest 3 girls were at piano lessons... oh my goodness, I was almost giddy.  They have NEW yarn!! A whole new line of it.  I just kept finding new colors to play with.. a lighter green for my frogs (so cute!!). My "monkey" browns in thicker (ie: quicker) yarn. Pretty purple!!
Well, I just had to go back after Steven got home from work.  I could hardly pick which one ball of yarn I was going to buy with my 40% off coupon.  I finally went with the organic cotton brown.. it's very soft. :) Perfect for sweet little bears!
Fall... hurry up! I am ready to make hats!
After this post, I am sure it makes sense that my domain name is knitting with arrows and my blog title is Knit Together in His Love. I really enjoy knitting... and.... yarn!

Water Challenge:Fail

Well, I got through ONE 33.8oz bottle of water for the whole day.  After my post last night, I totally forgot about water and by the time I remembered it was pretty late so I only got a tiny bit down from my second bottle.  That was a lot of water for me though... I felt like I pee'd all day! haha! So, obviously I drink VERY little on a normal basis. :(
So far today I am about halfway through my first bottle.. it's 12:50pm.  Hoping for better results today.
I'll keep you posted.

Mundane Monday: Water Challenge

Okay, I am challenging myself to drink enough water today.  I have a 33 oz water bottle and my goal is to drink two of them! I managed to get down one bottle so far today and it is 7:35pm... so I have a whole bottle to go and not many hours left! Eek! I might be peeing all night long!  I have a really bad headache though, I wonder if it has something to do with finally giving my body enough water.. idk.. you'd think it would have the opposite effect, but I have heard that exercise sometimes can give you headaches when you first start.
Anyway, I wanted to document that this is my goal so therefore I am more likely to follow through!! So, I'll let ya know tomorrow how I did today!