It's kind of fun having a secret.... not a total secret, because some people know... but you know, the baby thing.
I am sure that everyone who knows me suspects we'll have more... but I am going to keep denying it until I can't deny it anymore. If I have to suck in after I am pregnant I will. Don't worry I won't do anything to hurt the baby, like wear a girdle or anything... but I still feel the same as I did before, I don't want certain people to know. I can't bear to see the "shocked but disappointed" or "what the heck?!" or "you are crazy" look on people's faces. I guess I assume that the later they find out the more accepting they'll be... especially if I can make it to the gender u/s... can you imagine, announcing we are having a baby.. but not just any baby, but, "It's a ___!" how fun would that be?
Which brings me......
Obviously I'd like another boy.. but another girl would be fine, I honestly believe that Elise has cured me of gender disappointment.. or maybe it was the fact that I did have Matthew finally, IDK... Either way, I'd prefer a boy because Matthew could have a little brother... that would be awesome.
I believe that God will give us who we are supposed to have, but I also know that sin in this world, the way we eat, toxins we are exposed to have degraded things, like our bodies. There is a lot of things out of balance, including a person's PH balance. If you are acidic you are more likely to have a girl; alkaline, boy. Can't remember why exactly, but when I read it, it made sense. Nothing is 100% and God can get through ph balance, but I do believe what we put in our bodies has certain consequences. (not that having girls is a bad consequence.. ;)).
So... I am trying to "sway" blue. Meaning, i am trying to raise my alkaline levels AND increase the potassium I get everyday. Potassium helps too. Again, I don't remember why.. haha. It's so much potassium though... like almost 5,000mg a day. The most I could do was yesterday and that was about 3,500mg. I could have eaten more salsa and spinach or had a baked potato.. in fact just one baked potato would have brought me almost to the level I needed to be, but I just wasn't hungry. I could have made myself eat, but I am not taking this thing to those extremes. Just doing what I can do and letting God do the rest. :) I really pray he lets us have another baby boy.
I am on CD 10 now... the days are dragging by. I can't wait to test....
And for some reason, the secret thing, is just a lot fun for me right now.. haha... In the past I couldn't wait to tell people. The longest I waited was w/ Elise and that was a week!!! This time it will be different unless someone else ruins it for me. Which is very possible and I guess that's ok. No matter what I'll be happy about our new little blessing even if a few people are not. I am not keeping it from everyone so I know it's likely to get out, on FB or by word of mouth.
When I was briefly pregnant last month Steven told his parents, told them not to tell anyone and later that day I was getting messages on fb... and Grandma Lou wrote something in a comment on my wall!! haha!! Sweet Grandma, she didn't know. :) We'll have to really express our concerns to the people we tell (which will include Katie and Danielle) and go from there! All we can do is hope for the best.
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