One of those days..

It's just one of those days.
I've had too many of "those" kinds of days lately.
I wish I could figure it out because it's just as frustrating to feel this way as it is to deal with me I am sure!
I don't know, I have dreams and ideas of the kind of wife and mom I want to be, and trust me.. that me, the me I want to be.. well she's pretty cool.  She wakes up early and gets her facebook checking out of the way even before her kids and husband are up.  She makes breakfast for her family, and not only that, but her kids actually like different kinds of foods because she did whatever it is that it takes to make her kids like foods.. haha.. obviously I don't know what that would be. Then they have devotions around the breakfast table.. or it doesn't even have to be that fancy.. maybe they just talk or pray together before the day is started. The point is... they're together.
 Her home is neat and clean, the bathrooms never smell like pee and never have trash all over the floors. You won't walk in those bathrooms and find dried toothpaste on the walls.  Not only that, but those bathrooms actually have soap and a clean towel in them for people to wash and dry their hands because, this mom I want to be, well, she stays on top of it and makes sure the soap doesn't end up all over the floor, or all squeezed into the sink.
The beds would be made at some point during the day, because she makes sure it happens.  Her kids don't have to get rid of most of their toys because SHE makes sure they clean them up.  She doesn't take the easy way out and just get rid of all of them.
She keeps her own bedroom clean. 
The children would be obedient and not run and scream through the house... because she simply doesn't allow it.  This mom is disciplined herself and cleans up after herself so her children have a good example.  This mom doesn't raise her voice and positively affirms her children and her husband everyday so they never doubt their worth and importance in the family.  This mom that I wish I was does not complain when she has to make lunch or dinner... she does not dread mealtime.. she feeds her children healthy and just enjoys the opportunity to sit with them, all together at the table.  Part of this is because she has disciplined them well enough that it's not a circus at the table.  Manners are used and the conversation is nice.
She doesn't rush to just get them in bed because she truly enjoys being with them.  She doesn't forget to bathe them.. and she brushes their hair.... everyday.
Each and every child feels that he or she is special to Mommy because she did at least one thing that day to make them feel that way.  She'd never forget to say "I love you" to any of her children at least once per day - ever.
Her husband would, at the very least, feel respected and admired.  The wife I want to be.. well, she's really cool too.  Every morning she'd be up with her husband with a pleasant attitude.  She tells him he looks handsome everyday, and he always gets a kiss as he leaves for work. This wife, you know, the one I wish I was... she sometimes slips little notes into his pockets telling him just how great she thinks he is.  He'd know with out a doubt that his wife is his number one admirer.. that no matter what he does, she just loves him anyway. He knows that his home is his refuge, his soft place to fall.  It's a place where he's a hero.  He'd know that he's appreciated for all he does.  Dinner would be hot and ready when he gets home, his laundry folded and put away.  When he gets home from work, she greets him with a great big hug!
Before bed, they'd gather together as a family and have Bible time.  Actually, Bible time is something that I do with the kids now (and Steven if he's home). Even if I am not where I want to be that part is wonderful.
I just want to enjoy life, not feel like everything is spiraling out of control.
Sigh....
Like I said, it's just one of those days....